Save the First Dance
According to historians, the first dance of a wedded couple didn’t begin at a wedding, but was a tradition seen in 17th-century balls of the wealthy. The hosts would invite or encourage their honored guests to a dance before the rest of the attendees joined them on the floor in merriment. It’s thought that this moved into the wedding traditions somewhere in the late 19th century, where couples would take to the floor with a rehearsed dance displaying their partnership to their guests.
There are many variations in the first dance that have existed for centuries among varying cultures and are still very much celebrated in today’s weddings, but this piece is focusing on the classic first dance between a wedded couple and the many customizations it has taken over the years.
Photography Credit: Daniela Rollin Photography
The first steps in a new chapter
As mentioned in our previous piece, Timeless Classics, once the tradition was adopted by couples for their wedding celebration, the intention hasn’t really faded at all over the years. In fact, some of the only changes the tradition has seen are enhancements to highlight the personal milestone!
The first dance is placed in one of two spaces within the occasion: following the ceremony and after the wedding party is introduced, but before everyone is seated for dinner, or directly after everyone has eaten and the dance floor has been revealed. The order in which the dance is placed is entirely up to the couple and their venue, as it depends on whether or not there will be a transformation from dining room to dance floor.
Photography Credit: The Shoot Media
At Gather on Broadway, for example, the transformation of the room typically occurs directly after the ceremonial I Do’s, when the rows of chairs are stealthily swapped for tables and dining chairs by their talented crew.
A set stage and band or DJ booth and its emcee are waiting to entice the guests for a good time on the dance floor at the front of the room, but remain a background feature until it is their time to shift into the party portion of the evening. While all of this is being set, a curtain hides the process and provides a classy backdrop for photos while guests enjoy a cocktail hour.
Photography Credit: Kate Wilde
It has become quite common for brides to use this opportunity to change into their second dress (if applicable) if they aren’t planning to incorporate it into their first wedded dance, changing into something lighter for dinner and dancing. After speeches and dinner have wrapped up, the emcee or band will announce and encourage guests to watch as dessert is cut and served, and the first few tables will be moved aside to create more room for dancing.
The first dance between the married couple is the first to kick off the lineup of an evening of dancing, followed by the parent dances, included cultural traditions, and even wedding dance games or classic routines such as the “Cha-Cha Slide” or “Cupid Shuffle”. As weddings have gotten bigger and bigger with the newer generations' desire for an elevated or picture-perfect event, so too has this moment to debut as a couple elevated.
As with everything in a wedding, the first dance is entirely customizable to you as a couple. What do you want to produce as a symbol of your love in the form of dance? Comedy? Drama? Theatrics? Rehearsed choreography of any kind is a great way to display to your friends and family the combined personality of your relationship, and can also provide the tone for the rest of the evening.
Photography Credit: Alyssa Lentz Photography
There are a few dances that start off the evening, such as the mother and son dance and the father and daughter dance, but the first dance between the married couple is the one everyone is anticipating for the evening; and there have been some fun ways couples have integrated these first dances as the extravagances of a wedding continue to climb!
A dance of your own design
While a slow waltz, rumba, or a typical slow dance are seen most often between couples throughout the history of the first dance, some use this opportunity to really get creative, adding another fun element to the occasion. This has been seen in ways such as a coordinated and collaborative dance, a dance that is “interrupted” in the middle with a tied-in reference to the relationship, or even a famous dance from some piece of media the two share a love for!
Photography Credit: Maple Hope
DJ: YoDJ
For example, in the many pieces of romantic, dramatic, or even romantic-comedy media that have been released throughout the generations, there are plenty of opportunities in pop culture that can make for a great homage to the introduction of your relationship, such as a scene or shared dance from a season of Bridgerton, the shared dance between Morticia and Gomez Addams of the Addams Family Values (1993), or the ever upbeat “This Will Be (An Everlasting Love)” by Natalie Cole used in numerous movies and TV shows over the decades, but popularized by the ending to The Parent Trap (1998). [Am I aging myself with these references?]
One doesn’t have to completely copy or rehearse a specific routine from a piece of media, but can simply use a song used to convey the love between a couple you relate to or admire. Couples have gravitated toward the ever-popular “Jar of Hearts” by Christina Perri, or Iron and Wine’s, “Flightless Bird, American Mouth”, used in the wedding scene of the fourth Twilight movie, Breaking Dawn: Part 1 (2011), as well as the frequently used “Can’t Help Falling In Love” in numerous movies, TV shows, and pop culture moments.
Sometimes, social media and pop culture can’t cover the love you two share in the way you’ve imagined, only a shared moment exclusive to the two of you will do the trick, and that’s so special! Many couples have coordinated and choreographed specialized dances or routines to a song they’ve deemed as their own, or crafted a dance that celebrates their cultures and ancestry to symbolize their next step together.
As mentioned previously, some brides have chosen this time to change from their ceremonial dress to one that provides more ease in movement and dancing, making a spectacle of the introduction of this new dress by starting their dance in the ceremonial dress and finishing said dance in their reception dress. There can be many fun ways to play with this moment, such as recreating a pop culture moment and stepping away in a theatrical manner, only to reenter with more drama and flair, or adding some dramatic comedy to the revelation, whatever represents your relationship!
Photography Credit: Wanderlynn Photography
Whatever you decide to do with it, the first dance is a staple in a wedding, documented as frequently as the first kiss between the pair, and some even opt to include the moment of their first dance as their live painting or as a focal point to the wedding video.
The tradition of the first dance hasn’t changed in meaning over these years, still being used by our hosts and guests of honor to welcome their loved ones to their celebration, and open up the dance floor to the rest of their friends and family, kicking off the start to a fun and memorable night!
Photography Credit: Alyssa Sashs Photography
Are you in need of any photographer or videographer recommendations to help capture the perfect moment? Are you unsure if you should book a fun live band or a trusted DJ and emcee to help execute the first dance masterpiece? Gather’s experienced event managers are ready and happy to help you with all these decisions and more.
Sources
https://rusticandmain.com/blogs/stories/first-dance-at-wedding-etiquette
https://www.brides.com/story/wedding-dance-etiquette
https://www.brides.com/money-dance-tradition-5074509
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